Writing in the midst of the culture wars is a bit like pre-booking a spot in the ‘woke’ Gulag – we do it to get in early and reserve a decent looking shovel.

When the world slides toward tyranny, you might as well start digging next to the contrarians, agent provocateurs, whistle-blowers, comedians, and dissidents. There is no greater joy than waiting for mainstream media to arrive dead last, scratching around at what’s left of the truth with biodegradable sporks and sloppy headlines.

Don’t worry. However grim the Covid dystopia gets, at least we know that we’re ‘safe’ for the Christmas holidays.

The trouble with ‘safety’ is that it tends to suck the joy out of life. I’ve done things that would attract the disapproval of our esteemed chief health officers – up to and including sitting with a giant T-Rex skull between my thighs on an Argentinian dig site in the middle of the desert with a rapidly approaching oil pipeline.

What is the risk assessment for accidentally licking bits of Yellowcake Uranium that get confused with dinosaur bone? Do I have to inform the government every time I bed down in the sand with scorpions?

I can safely say that whatever I drank on a Croatian gulet has permanently transformed my body into a hostile environment. Covid would take one look at me, mutate and cough itself back out to safety. That’s the thing about humans – we eat the wrong things, travel to dangerous places, tempt fate, and generally live.

Politicians are keen on ‘safety’ because they exist on a rotisserie, skewered at both ends by the press while the public roast them from below. We only pay attention to politicians because they smell good served up with a side of chips, squished into the twenty-four hour news cycle somewhere between MAFS and football.

The bottom of the food chain prioritises safety, which might help explain why our premiers have constructed a new world order complete with digital fortresses made by the same people who brought you the NBN.

This ‘safety’ strategy didn’t work for New South Wales – which ended its political year with a massacre.

Everything was going so well for Berejiklian and her inconsistent sidekick Barilaro until Chant tied to re-adjust her third face mask and tripped over a power cord – plunging the state into darkness. The Minister for Energy and the Environment was too busy picking bits of endangered sea-eagle out of his wind turbines to fix the lights, so Coalition MPs were left to blindly hack-out their unresolved tension with iPhones and Tweets.

Staffers dragged bodies out of the fray for days until Dominic Perrottet emerged victorious, stepping through the grisly remains of failed peers on his way to anointment at the factional Conclave.

It is unclear whether Perrottet survived the bloodbath because he’s handy with a sword, ducked at the right moment, or if he’s being braised as a sacrificial lamb for a different festive event. If Perrottet finds himself with the sins of Covid sticking out of his rump like twigs of rosemary, Kean could turn the temperature up and nick the leadership without touching a carving knife.

In Victoria, Premier Daniel Andrews upset China, who complained that his viral ad campaign to promote Melbourne made the Communist regime look ‘weak’ and ‘open’. Things could always be worse. The top search result for Victorian Chief Health Officer Brett Sutton is a picture of a slug surrounded by ads for insect killer. Everyone knows that slugs are the snails that didn’t quite make it and are so unappetising that even the French won’t eat them. Speaking of which, Morrison coughed up Christopher Pyne all over Macron like a fossilised fur ball.

The French aren’t happy about their wrecked submarine deal but honestly, it’s not practical to stay mad at the only three countries that rescued them from extinction – twice. If left to his own devices, Macron would get his white flags made in a Chinese factory.

Meanwhile, at the height of Cancel Culture, Canada has re-elected the serial black-face addict Justin Trudeau whose personality could best be described as a ‘cloud-based’ beta-version riddled with errors and spyware. He wanders around the campaign trail like a slightly shit Tim-Tam genie with a packet of self-replenishing bad ideas. Trudeau stood idle in front of the press for so long that people inter-cut the 90s internet dial-up tone into the gap, proving that the absence of conservative parties across the Western world has created a vacuum of power so strong it has started sucking in single-celled organisms.

When US President Joe Biden gifted the world’s most dangerous terrorists an army, New Zealand rushed to congratulate the progressive apocalyptic cult on their achievements. To be fair to Jacinda Ardern, it’s easy to get the Taliban confused with the Climate-Change-Crisis-Extinction-Rebellion-Justice movement. They both obsess about the LGBT community, spend time re-writing the school curriculum, pledge to destroy the West, shill for China’s sacred renewables industry, and pray for the end times.

According to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change part one of the Sixth Assessment Report, the climate catastrophe is ‘widespread, rapid, and intensifying’ – which sounds like something a dodgy weatherman says fudging his way through a ten-day forecast.

If that was 2021 at a glance, what are we supposed to make of 2022? Do we wrap ourselves in plastic, head down to the Harbour Bridge and set off a few tonnes of fireworks – or are we too scared of loud noises and bright lights?

“If you’re starting at the point of absurdity, where are you supposed to go from there?” asked the bemused Bill Leak, staring down the comparative sanity of 2017.

Cartoonists express the lunacy of our world with such clarity that it makes them dangerous to those trying to bury the truth. Writers have shovels, but the likes of Bill Leak attack the idiocy of Australia’s political class with an excavator.

If we allow bureaucracy to limit humanity under the pretence of ‘safety’, their boundaries will become a box. Remember, the government are a bit like oiled-up Greeks bearing gifts – it’s best for everyone if you say ‘no’ and shut the gate.

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Article by ellymelly – If you enjoy my work, consider shouting me a coffee


Image by heblo from Pixabay

We are in the middle of an historic struggle for America’s future, America’s culture, and America’s institutions – borders and most cherished principles. Our security, our prosperity, and our very identity as Americans is at stake like, perhaps, at no other time. So, no matter how much the Washington establishment of the powerful special interests may want to silence us, let there be no doubt that we will be victorious and America will be stronger and greater than ever before.” – Donald Trump, CPAC 2021

After a few months of a Biden presidency, it is easy to forget what coherency looks like. Love him or loathe him, at least Trump speaks in complete sentences without stuttering his way through an earpiece relay.

Biden began his presidency with the constant attendance of minders, ushering him from podium to padded cell in case, heaven forbid, he speak his mind. The last time that happened, Biden rambled about children stroking the hairs on his leg in one of the creepiest glimpses of a man well into mental collapse.

He has the appearance of a computer generated newsreader, downloaded by an old dial-up modem, jittering through his script like an IKEA manual written in broken English that has been walked through Korean, Mandarin, Spanish, and Swedish before being dragged through the remnants of Hunter’s crack pipe and delivered with a few screws missing.


Biden is the first president in American history glad of his puppet strings, because he knows that they are the only things holding him upright. It must infuriate China who, having spent decades securing leverage over Biden and his family, now find themselves unable to properly use their influence on a man with no idea which decade this is. He would probably thank the ominous voice on the other end of the phone for filling in the blanks.

Yet Biden said just a few days ago, that when he got here (meaning the White House), there was no vaccine. He said, ‘there’s no vaccine…’ Oh. Good. Say it again, Joe. Now, I don’t think he said that, frankly, in a malicious way. I really don’t. I actually believe that he said that because he really doesn’t know what the hell was happening.” – Trump CPAC 2021

The slip from Biden regarding the arrival date of the Covid vaccine was part of a sustained argument. Snopes fact-checking raced to the rescue, claiming:

It appears that Biden simply misspoke, however, given that he had acknowledged just minutes before that 50 million doses were available when he took office.’

The fat-positive white elephant crushing everyone in the room is Biden’s inconsistency. But don’t worry, Snopes concludes:

Given the totality of his remarks on the subject during the town hall, it is false to claim that Biden said there was no vaccine at all at the beginning of his term in office.’

In summary, according to Snopes, it is not true that Biden said what he said because he did not mean to say it… This is how ‘fact-checking’ is used by the press to change the facts. Sometimes they are manipulated, and sometimes they are erased from the record entirely. Outfits like Snopes are performing the role of Orwell’s Ministry of Truth, amending the public record when reality contradicts the approved narrative.

Politics has become an absurdity – a theatre production put on to entertain the plebs while the powerful make deals in the darkness. Voting is reduced to a formality with a predetermined outcome, as it is in the despot dictatorships that Americans once laughed at. How could the heart of the free world fall? Like this. Via agreement between the bureaucracy and the state.

Politicians were once referred to as creatures of vanity and ambition. Today, they have been reduced to cardboard replicas presenting with hashtags in place of policy. They are, with few exceptions, a façade for the collectivist movement.

Beneath this flimsy ply-board sits a festering bureaucracy. It is the real virus, spreading into every part of life, from birth to death, softening people up to the notion of life wasted behind the safety of their cage bars. The destruction of America’s civil politics in favour of the consensus of unelected public servants is a gradual decline – imperceptible in the decades prior to Trump. He hit the American people with a bucket of water, alerting them to their fate stewing in the pressure cooker.

Whether it is Biden telling himself to ‘salute the marines’ as he approaches, or the end of in-person rallies where the public are kept behind the camera, separated from a leader who can barely read the auto-queue – America has crossed the threshold into an augmented world where information is filtered before being disseminated. We don’t know what’s true anymore because truth has become nothing more than the opinion of the state-sanctioned mob.

In 2021, we know more about the kidnapping of Lady Gaga’s dogs than we do of Hunter Biden’s laptop. The international criminal activities of the president’s son are erased from the record by the same social media oligarchs who deleted the free press.

The message is clear.

The elite are untouchable and their crimes never happened. As for the man fighting for the preservation of the American republic? He is under attack from the same bureaucracy currently ruling via a hailstorm of executive orders that has left the nation in ruins and as impotent as a field of smashed solar panels.

Trump is not going to start a new party. He believes in the American dream. He believes in America and its survival in a world full of rising authoritarians and corporate oligarchies.

The flame of freedom is flickering as the gale of collectivism sweeps in from the East. Liberty is strong, but the closed fist of socialism will break its nose if given the chance.

By ellymelly – If you enjoy my work, consider shouting me a coffee over on Ko-Fi